a classmate told me that i don't have an X factor. that's probably why no one ever finds me attractive. i kinda knew it and the truth always hurts right? lol. it has been proven throughout my life that i do not possess a special talent or skill that people can identify me with. some people are smart, some are pretty, others are funny, etc. but the only thing most people use to describe is "nice". as we all know, nice=boring. so i am a bore? that is just plain sad.
everything he said, it definitely made me think. all the things i've experienced in life, all the memories. now i notice that they all were actually pointing towards that. whatever i do have was never truly developed and what i don't have, well i am absolutely horrendous at those stuff. to say that it is my parents' fault would make me an ungrateful child. they have given me all the tender love and care by raising me and the rest is my own responsibility. but i guess it can get rather frustrating watching other people pursuing their dreams and reaching for the stars while i'm still stuck and clueless about what i should do in life. all i want to do is become a good person and not cause any trouble for other people. unfortunately, that is obviously not good enough.
i have been taught to be thankful for what i have in life. thus, it has become a habit to just settle with things that were given to me. i don't expect too much from life because i don't want to be disappointed in the end. so i just made do with what i have and do my best to make it work. but as i grow older, i see people around me expecting more out of life but it didn't actually occur to me that i am entitled to do the same. now, i'm struggling to find myself again and discover what i really want in life.
until then, i shall remain X factor-less..
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