i received a surprising and interesting offer recently but i have to turn it down because i've promised not to subject myself to such complications this semester. i did surprisingly well last sem with all that drama going on. however, i wouldn't want to relive the emotional roller coaster ride this time around.

despite having to reject the offer, the thought of it lingers in my head. i started asking myself all the "what ifs", but honestly, i don't regret making that choice at all because i know that nothing could ever happen, not now, not ever. my lack of self-esteem could've been the main reason why i said no. i've got nothing to offer right now and too many things to work on.

but then again, i'm still hoping for something to happen. i try to lower my expectations to avoid the disappointment. i have made my decision and i have to live with it. it might turn out to be the one of the things i might regret later on but life goes on and there has to be more to it than what i have right now