There is so much joy in the air tonight. The smell of smoke, the booming sound of fireworks is everywhere. I can hear people talking and laughing from my balcony.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR, everyone! May the year of the rabbit brings joy and prosperity to all of you =)

Anyways, I had the most amazing day today. It started out as just another outing with friends until we begin to look for the masquerade mask and an evening gown. After our brunch in Sakae ( I definitely spent too much there ~.~), we walked around Gurney Plaza and voila! we found the masks ;-) You have no idea how excited I was, mostly because I didn’t expect to find one there. Lol. The masks were not exactly what I wanted but they are definitely good enough for a one night event. I wanted to take pictures of them but for the fear of being scolded by the shopkeeper, we left with hopes of returning later on.

Then, we went hunting for dresses. I wasn’t into it at first. I mean, I haven’t been wearing a dress since high school, until last night of course.  Haha. What I wore yesterday was a cute dress I purchased two years ago but never have I dared to wear it out of the house. Silly eh? Lol. And guess what?! After almost an hour of wondering aimlessly around the mall, we came across a little shop opposite Nichii (I forgot what it’s called cos I was so reluctant to enter at first but too distracted when I left >.<) Erdi was the one doing all the work, scanning the racks for a potential dress. I have already given up because there is no way I can afford anything in there! Nevertheless, the salesperson came to assist us, asking what sort of dress we are looking for.

“She wants something plain with no bling on it” says Erdi. Now, that was funny XD

She was spot on. I didn’t want anything that would stand out too much. The salesperson found one and insisted that I try it on. I was of course prepared to run out of the store that instance because the dress cost RM 289.90; but Erdi made me put it on and you know what, it was the best decision I’ve made in a long time. The dress was PERFECT! And the best part is.. I actually look good in it. A dress! Can you believe it?! For once, I actually believed that I can look pretty too.. I haven’t felt that way for the longest time. You have no idea how liberating I felt at that moment. Having to take it off was the difficult part, but I can’t wear it any longer cos I know I can NEVER buy it. With an excuse of returning with my mum, we left the shop. My heart was shattered the moment I returned the dress to the saleslady because I know I won’t be coming back..

 This is just how I remember it. The dress is actually a million times nicer than my sketch. hehe

It has been hours since I returned from the mall and I’m still thinking about the dress.. the thought of never being able to own it, or even wear it for one more time, really pains me. I guess a little part of me is still waiting for a miracle to happen but as we all know good things happen only when you work long and hard for it, and even then, you might still not get it. There was a reason why I came across the dress today. It can’t be a coincidence or just pure luck. Or maybe it was just something to cheer me up after what happened last night.

*this part I had to rewrite cos the came off while I was shifting my position on the bed ~.~

I was still thinking about the dress when we met up with Siew in Starbucks to exchange movies. And when we got talking, I became one the issues discussed in our conversation. It wasn’t unpleasant or anything. It’s jus that I prefer not to talk about things I’m trying to forget. For all I know, what had happened might have just been a fragment of my imagination.

The puzzle pieces are still a mess and I have no idea how to put it back together to form a clear picture of what has really been happening.

Put that aside, it is already past two in the morning and I am still thinking about the dress and how different I looked when I wore it. It’s a good thing I didn’t start blushing when I was wearing it. Lol. I begin to imagine what it would be like if I were to attend the masquerade ball in it. I’m not certain if heads will turn but it would make me feel a lot more confident with myself and my looks. At least I know I wouldn’t be the odd one out. I would just blend in as usual and stand in the shadows while the others will shine. It doesn’t really bother because I don’t have to have everyone’s attention, just the people who mean a lot to me would be enough.

Oh yeah, and I read your blog entry, fert. I’m glad that you’ve mend things with your close pals J at least you’re happier now or should I say ‘as happy as you used to be’. Lol. You’re lucky to have people who will constantly have your back no matter what happens. So don’t ever let them slip away again!

I guess I should stop writing now. This is an extremely long post because

1. SO many things happened today

2. I haven’t been writing since the holidays started

3. No one wants to lend me their ears or eyes in the wee hours

Good night, martina. May tomorrow not be worse than it was today @ may tomorrow be a better day than today. Lol. Chao~