it's been almost three years now. will this be the end of a friendship? if i can even call it a friendship in the first place. i know very well how it started but somewhere along the way, things got a little more complicated.
it was the first week of uni. he was the first one to have caught my attention. we see each other everyday. but at that time, i was too busy grieving over the fact that i'll be stuck here for the next four years of my life. besides, my mum has set some clear boundaries for me. i was very careful at first but as time passes, i got sloppy. i stop keeping my feelings in check and look where it has brought me. i'm a complete mess.
my uni is not a very big one. it is like a small town here where everybody often knows everyone. we are somehow linked to one another through a web of connections and that was how i got to know him. but i'm not certain what we had was even real. we don't talk like real friends do. everything was virtual. if we were a thousand miles apart, then it is understandable. but this? it just doesn't make sense.
now, he's finally going to end it. once again, i am not the one calling the shots. i hate the fact that when it comes to this matter, i am never the one in control of the situation. i'm vulnerable to every damaging effect that might've taken place throughout our entire "relationship". maybe it's because i care too much when he doesn't give a damn.
i know how it started and now, i know how it will end. it is certainly not a happy ending. plus, i'm very bad at goodbyes. i always end up saying the wrong things or doing all the wrong stuff. nevertheless, i can't deny the fact that you were once apart of my life and you the mark you left will most definitely stay. the memories we shared, it is not something that is easily forgotten. i've fallen, i've hurt and now this is all i can say
"thanx for the memories even though they weren't so great"
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