i don't know why i'm sad. i go to work, i have fun then when i come back to my room, i feel really sad.. like my heart is sinking. everything is going well (Except for the part where i'm broke). is it the room? or is it this house? well, yea, the room is currently empty but i'm gonna give it a remake once i get my first paycheck. so that's not too bad. it might not look like much now but it is a small sacrifice for better things that have yet to come. i hope this feeling will subside soon because i'm not sure how long i can keep myself together.
or maybe i do know.. it's just that i cant acknowledge them yet for the fear that i'll break and fall into pieces. it wears me out, the sadness and despair. i return feeling exhausted everyday even though i'm not exactly working yet. i know it's not the job. it's everything else that seem wrong with my job being the only thing right in my life now.
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